otrolif

Merdeka!!

2006-08-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

Merdeka, I wonder how free are we today. I wish I could live in the ice age where there is ice (obviously lah..) and snow all over , I'd be skating and sking and snowboard to wherever the hell I wanted to , well ski's and snowboards do not exist then, but I think I'm smart enough to invent it. Too bad, that'll never gonna happen. Whatever it is , I'm still proud of being a Malaysian, well not really proud, but as long as KL doesnt get bombarded by Israel like Lebanon did or oppressed like the Iraqis from the US, i'm happy.I wish people are free to undress whenever and wherever they wanted to.I wish my favourite bands didnt get barred from coming and performing in Malaysia as they usually got, I wish I have a handsome face and could be free to pick up whichever babe I wanted to date. I wish I have loads of cash that i can choose whichever car and superbike I wanted all this while..I wish had a Smarter Brain, I wish I had a scholarship to study at Oxford..I wish I could fly like a bird, I wish i'm as light as hydrogen so I can float and hangout on a rainbow and clouds...well the list will go on and on and on..achieving it is impossible...till then, i dont think i'm in a mood for a merdeka celebration.Afterall , freedom from opression only fulfills one of our list rite?..hope i dont spoil your mood to party ...i'm not goina anyways.

July misadventures?..yea sure i'll tell it.

2006-08-02T00:36:00.000-07:00

Rememmber my last post?..i was talking about wanting to tell u guys about what misadventures that i've been going through?. in july?...well I lied...i wont be telling u guys shyte.
anyways i applied into a uni called UNISEl as soon after i finished my exam, so here i am la in Kuala Selangor a place called Batang Terjuntai. Man apart from enjoying a great campus life..the food suck and i dont have a night life..and goddamnit my MP3 player crashed down... i dont have a guitar no tv...broke and there is no fuckin privacy here as fasr as INTERNEt is concerned..gosh imagine that.So say bye bye to my freakin msn messenger coz the net server blocks any direct communication betweeen 2 net users in terms of communicating. and fucking hell man..i'm soo bored..public transport suck here..and my timetable is like not really pact but collectively when u look at the time of classes being held..u'll get a shocker..i.e on mondays i got class at 4-7 pm and 8-10pm. psycho rite?...anyways my hsemate are cool people..oh i'm the oldest guy in the hse.well better late than never rite.?..i'll talk to u guys as soon as i get back to subang jaya.oh just hope that i can reach home in time and dad let me brinng my freakin guitar to the uni.

Only god knows how i'm cravinng for a chicken chop hehe..anyways thats all folks....i'll post a picture of the place as soon as i get my camera.till then.

my very own July misadventures

2006-07-20T03:42:00.000-07:00

Actually not much happened la...but Its quite an adventure ..anyway, soon after my exam..I continued working for me dad for a month approx. I had to gather some cash for a trip that Id never never forget. I didnt have much stuff in July accept for two . First is my band's first gig at Little Havana near Bukit Bintang. The gig had a nice atmosphere with super cool bands ..but its one of them bloody Fridays that made us ruin the show ..we blew up a great chance to rock and get laid . To be honest its a usual experience if u are familiar watching us playing live ..screw it la.

The very next day is the bomb...ohh, gosh i need 2 go to darussalam like now...so waith for the 2nd installment of the story la. I'll finishit by tonite. chow.

he ya'll

2006-07-18T12:03:00.000-07:00

Hey Ya'll...i've been preety busy with stuffs lately.I didnt have time to go online and stuff. its 3.am and its late...i got loads of stuffs to talk about, but i think i'd better save it for another day and get myself to bed soon before me mom wakes up ..malas la buat hal..so till then..

I could need a frigin' magic closet like the kids in the narnia show..like NOW..!!

2006-05-10T07:27:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,
Exam is on monday and i'm gonna frickin crack my brains for the weekend.Call it Last minute or whatever u want, I call it absolute Genius + Balls of steel accompanied with a mind of someone seperseding magneto or proffessor-X...if u cant process what i'm talking about, go see an image consultant..you may be the biggest nerd alive ...mind you its 100% experimental, so dont try it till u get the result from me first.

Anyways, I really think i'm out of time...speaking about time, I remember watching the chronicles of Narnia last week, I admit, the idea of the closet was freackin neat,Kinda like the Doraemon's drawer..damn, imagine la..all the adventure without wasting a single second..man, I need them time weh..I wont be battling creatures and save the freakin lion laa..shite i shouldnt be wasting my time typing crappy shite like this...anyways just wanna tell u readers about how desperate I am..so if ur frickin mom or dad has that sorta closet..tell me.
till then.

hi

2006-05-08T05:50:00.000-07:00

Hey ppl, Just came back from the Library and i'm so freakin tired now..exam is a week away and, i'm starting to fel the tension already.The blogspot hasnt been updated for weeks coz i've been kinda busy. To be honest nothing much happened so there's nothing much to tell yall about rite?..so till then. bye.

Our Very Own Unofficial Gathering

2006-03-22T21:46:00.000-08:00

Hmm, this Damn Laptop is foolling around with the anger managing mechanism in my head...bloody hell! this is my third time typing this shite Goddamnit!!! I'm running out of ideas...imagine writting the same old topic in 3 different approaches.!!!..its like ur assingment got rejected for the 3rd time..!!!.anyways, Hi ppl, my ex classmates of 4-5 Jaya Smksj 2002 and Myself had an unofficial gathering dinner at Tj's restaurant recently at on the night of 21st march '06, it was arranged by our very own Mr Chandra aka agent chemical Ali.

Anyways those who were present are Azmir,Chandra,Iman,Pamela ,Haniz o'Hara, and meself. Sze Jiann and Jin Joe joined us at the mamak after dinner.To our fellow clasmate who didnt get our call, sorry(lah) ...its planned at such last minute that we didnt get to call or lost ur contact number...anyways we are planning for a more Official Class Gathering In the Middle of the year.....Chandra wanted a romantic place like Paris...but i had 2 decline coz i'm totally broke...hehe( sorry chandra i had to add some fictional stories so that my site appears more cun than urs)...actually we are planning 2 go to pulauLang Tengah, i think its a part of redang....hope that there will be lots of Sun ,Sea,Sand and Girl...and Fun too...till then..

Gosh i'm soo fat!!

Lawyer Joke.

2006-03-21T20:13:00.000-08:00

Sorry Guys , Havent got the time to update my page...I noticed that most of blogg sites have loads and loads of pictures....mine are mostly words...yea it sucks I know, but knowing that me myself dontknow how to post pictures and the fact that me myself dont have a digicam suck bigger...well Sorry la Ah chan this blog will be kinda slow for the time being, damn busy leh..exam fever...anyways, went through www.break.Com recently and found this Joke, a real kewl one...a brilliant one la as far as i am concerned....So enjoy...

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association LawyersJournal, the following are 22 questions actually asked ofwitnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, theresponses given by insightful witnesses:

"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
"Were you alone or by yourself?"
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
"Did he kill you?"
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
"How many times have you committed suicide?"

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

2. Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?

3. Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

4. Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon,didn't you?

A: I went to Europe, Sir.

Q: And you took your new wife?

5. Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

6. Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

7. Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

8. Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on deadpeople?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

9. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you goto?

A: Oral.

10. Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doingan autopsy.

11. Q: You were not shot in the fracas?

A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

12. Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

A: I have been since early childhood.

13. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

....................

2006-02-13T19:08:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda bored in the offce...having a mild stomach ache from the 7up I took for breakfast this morning...and the broken jaw I'm currently suffering ..i think it broke because i chew a gum for quite sometime till I heard a "PRrakk" sound..lastnite...then it started aching ( yea...yea... laugh la u insensitve bastardss..I'm NoT kidding...It might not be broken but the sound it produces that time sounds like it broke...so i just considered it broken la...) then suddently a strong gust wind of hatred reminds me that....

This team sucks:

Manchester United.
Chelsea.

Happy or should i say sucky New year...

2006-02-05T19:59:00.000-08:00

Hi Ppl,
It's been a while till I realised that I too, have a blog, so here I am, Typing, trying 2 make the best out of this friggin' Blog....Ouh,I would like 2 wish u ppl a happy new 2006 ,however i came through an article in The STAR news paper in January, saying that since this is the year of the Poodle (btw , i'm trying 2 crack a joke by substituting the word *dog with *Poodle in order to add flair 2 my language so that u fellas would atleast dont get bored....and honestly I think its akinda Pathethic ...Lah) ..and its says , for those who are born in the year 1985 will have a sucky year..and im starting to get the hang of it already.....so enjoy struggling....

COOL WAYS TO KILL YOURSELF!!!

2005-12-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

Even the ones about the electrical stimulation of certain unmentionable organs. You can visit Scott Christensen at his website. The man is pure genius, but humble.

Life Got You Down?
If you've been a little depressed lately and have contemplated partaking in the bliss of death, here are a couple of cool ways to kill yourself. Even if you don't use these exclusive royalty-free methods, remember to do it as creatively as possible. Don't be boring and just take sleeping pills --- go out with style and flare.
All these methods require some planning but don't let that dissuade you. Your life must be pretty pathetic if you're killing yourself. Why not leave a legacy?

1.Jumping
Here are a couple of great ways to kill your self by jumping off a tall building or cliff or basically anything really high. The thing about these is that they generally work best if you can get a big crowd watching before you jump. Don't do it when there is no one around. There's just no bloody point in that.

2.Explosives Strapped to Your Body
Difficulty level: 7
Get a LOT of explosives. The more the better.
Hook up a detonator to an altimeter. Set it for 100-200 feet. That will give you good dispersion.
Mix vaseline and gasoline in a bucket.
Find a really tall building. Something like the World Trade Center (not anymore, but you get the idea) is perfect and is in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized crowd.
Get an extra large trench coat, ski mask, duct tape and a lighter.
Bring your materials to the top of your building. Liberally apply the vaseline-gasoline mixture to your entire body. Duct tape the explosives around your legs, arms, head and torso. The more you use the better. You cannot overdo this. Attach the altimeter to the explosives.
Put on the trench coat and mask so that the explosives are not visible.
Start ranting and throwing things so that you are sure to attract notice. Drag this part out as long as possible. Say anything that comes to mind but try to stay away from real problems. Your love life DOES NOT make for a good sound bite. Ask for news cameras from the major networks. Pace around a lot while waving your arms.
DO NOT let on that you have explosives on your body. The police will clear the area and you definitely don't want that.
When you've gotten the crowd to a fevered pitch, when the helicopters are hovering like vultures, whip off the jacket and set yourself on fire.
Wait until you are completely engulfed in flame then jump.
Try to steer yourself towards the crowd. That way flaming falling body parts will pelt the fleeing onlookers when you explode.
Congratulations! You've just made history.

3.Falling through Chain Saws
Difficulty level: 10
This is much more difficult to pull off. Instead of explosives, the money shot is you falling though three or four operating chain saws. You do not need as high a building for this --- anything above three stories will do. Remember to use the vaseline-gasoline mixture. That's the ingredient that adds pizzazz.

4.Bullet in Your Head
Difficulty level: 1
HAMMER a bullet into your skull. Make sure there is an empty gun nearby but do not fire it. Bash the bullet into your frontal lobe. It doesn't matter how you get it done it will perplex the authorities for years and you will, most assuredly, be a hot news topic. Hell, you want fame in death to rival the obscurity you had in life don't you?

5.Death by Hairball
Difficulty level: 3
Get a cat or a dog and brush it every day. Save the hair until you have a giant hairball. Plug up your nose then shove the hairball into your mouth.
Leave a cryptic note about how you believe little Fluffy or Rover was planning to kill you in your sleep.

6.Meat Grinder
Difficulty level: 11
Find a sausage making company that has a giant meat grinder. Set up a hidden video camera to tape your death. Leave a will with explicit instructions that it not be read until one year after the night of your grinding. In it, detail the way you died and the location of the hidden camera.
Sneak in at night naked and turn on the video camera. Climb into the grinder and take massive amounts of pills of your choice. Make sure it is enough to kill you.
In the morning you will be ground up and made into sausages. One year later your will, will be read to the news media and people all around the nation will vomit simultaneously.

7.Drown in Your Own Urine
Difficulty level: 8
Get a huge vat or possibly an above ground pool. Save all your urine. Drown yourself in it. Put a note on the side of the pool saying, "MY URINE."
This method would work for any body fluid: vomit, snot, dooty. For you despondent guys out there: A vat of your own sperm would be truly impressive. You will have to get some viagra and work frantically for years, but what else have you got to do? Pop into alt.binaries.erotica.bestiality, get the vibrator out and get crackin'. Remember, do something really weird and original, something that will tell them you are/were special.

8.Make a Political Statement
Difficulty level: 5
The abundance of media outlets these days has afforded a nearly infinite number of ways to relay your message of doom and despair while consequently minimizing the impact. No longer can you be assured a sizable audience for the ranting and pontificating that so often accompany political/ecological/religious movements.
"Oh, whatever can I do?!" you may be wailing. "The world is coming to an end. Death and despair loom on the horizon. [Insert your hated adversary's name here] is the embodiment of evil. He/she/they/it is/are/will be the antichrist/destruction of us all/black death come to haunt us/etc."
"How can I get my cause the attention it deserves?" you ask. The answer is simple: A futile pointless violent act displayed to millions on the evening news.

9.Death by Seinfeld
Difficulty level: 9
Find a strong burly friend that will help you. Then find Jerry Seinfeld. Have your strong burly friend pick up Seinfeld and beat you to death with him.
Later Jerry will make a tv show out of it or maybe it will just end up in his act. "So I said, Hey! Who are these people that pick up other people and beat other people to death with them?"

10.Plug 'Em Up
Difficulty level: -1
Get a lot of ten-ton epoxy to seal any and all body openings. Wait a while. Explode.
This method contributed by Scott Disanno

11.A Pun Death
Difficulty level: 3
Take five large steaks. Rub them all over your body and stuff what remains into every pocket and orifice you can find. Tape at least one steak inside your clothing directly to your body. Find one large hungry grizzly bear. Taunt it till it comes to a full boil, attacks, and kills you.
Dying this way, at the paws of a grizzly bear, will allow the tabloid newspapers and daily tv news shows to use the headline "Grizzly Death!" repeatedly.

12.Intest You Intest Me
Difficulty level: 4
Sometimes you want to do something violent and bloody but you just don't have the wherewithal to assemble a cache of assault weapons. This method is simple and convenient for those on limited budgets.
Make a small incision in your stomach.
Pull out your intestines.
Hang yourself with the intestines.
A cryptic note about aliens might be a nice touch.

13.End the Holiday Madness
Difficulty level: 6
Anyone with half a brain hates the Thanksgiving to Christmas season. There is too much family. Too many happy annoying people demanding things from you. Too much forced joy specials on television. And WAY too many repetitions of songs you've been listening to since childhood. Anything Cathy Lee Gifford espouses must, by definition, be evil.
The only way to escape this recurring nightmare is to:
If you have any investments, convert them to money. Take all your money and loose it playing online poker. This is especially important if you are well off. Don't tell family members and other greedy people that would profit from your demise. After you die, they will go crazy trying to find the missing money.
Stick your head in the turkey just after it comes out of the oven preferably during the Christmas DayTM family gathering but a Thanksgiving DayTM end may also serve your purposes. Your timing really depends on your own peculiar circumstances.
Run around banging into family members all the while flailing your arms. You can never go wrong flailing your arms when trying to kill your self. The more flailing the better.
Go into a room that can be easily locked so you won't be accidently saved by well meaning but inconsiderate friends or family members. [Alternatively you can just flee the house and run through the streets aimlessly until you pass out. NO ONE in a large city will ever go near someone with a steaming turkey on his head. If you live in a wooded or rural area the best thing to do would be to run off into the wilderness so your body can be found with all sorts of gnaw marks on it from the multitude of animals that will flock to your decaying carcass (and the turkey's too).]
An interesting footnote to this holiday might be to swallow a large number of Christmas ornaments (lights, small Santa dolls, actual fruit cake) before you follow your bliss. Give your family and friends (if you have either) something to discuss the following year.

14.Chop Your Own Head Off While Standing Next to a Major World Leader
Ingratiate yourself with your chosen mark. Get his/her/its confidence. Become a trusted member of the inner circle.
Sew a hand ax into a coat or jacket so that it is easily removable but not particularly visible.
Make a statement. Video tape is preferable because the TV news shows love visuals. The more visual material they have the better. The next best thing would be audio tape. It won't hold an audience as well but at least it can be played under the video of your death. Never write a letter. No one reads anymore. No one will care. Make sure your message will be easily found on your corpse.
On the day of a major rally, with hundreds or thousands of attendees and lots of television cameras, wear the coat with the hand ax attached.
Send backup copies of your message to as many news outlets as you can on the appointed day.
Stand in the background as you remove the ax from the coat. When you are finished move slowly toward your dignitary.
As the event reaches its climax, whip out the ax and lop off your own head. If possible try to run around like a chicken. Make sure to get as much blood on the famous person as possible. Aim well. That will be the image that gets the news coverage and the sour faces from Cathy Lee Gifford.
Bask in your glorious death. You've made the supreme sacrifice to save the world and have ended the torment that was your existence.

15.Assisted Suicide
Sometimes you need help. Sometimes it takes a committee. Some of the many ways of suicide are just too complicated to do alone. These are perfectly valid routes to bliss and will not taint, in any way, your death.

My Dream Car.!!!

2005-12-15T06:08:00.000-08:00

Damnit Mazda rx-7 rocks! gonna own myself one 10 years from now.!!!

The beginning...

2005-11-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

Hi,
Thanx fer checking out my blog, i do not really fancy writing about myself, but i'll try 'lah'...
Btw the blog will remain under construction for a while till i have the time 2 do something abt it...so stay tuned .